Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Being Who You Are: But, What if you're Quiet?

Realizing things about yourself can be like a light bulb being turned on. Theres this instantaneous "Oh!" feeling.

My mother tells me how quiet a baby I was, when I cried. If she was in the next room, she could barely hear me...my cries were so faint.
On report card day, my teachers would often tell my mother how good a student I was, how they wished they had more student's like me, and would write the word "quiet" on the back of my card.
Classmates & co-workers would use the same word to describe me. Quiet.

I always knew I was a person of few (spoken) words, but it wasn't until recently that these pieces came together in my mind.

Growing up, even though I felt completely comfortable being a quiet person, I didn't always like being called "quiet". In my mind, it wasn't cool; so, I'd try to come up with things to say to contribute to conversations...fill awkward silences...and fit in with the seemingly "effortless talkers".
"How do they do it?", I wondered. It didn't seem like it required as much thought, as I was putting into it. What should I say?...What should I say?...No, that was already said...Okay, Got it!...Say it...Now...
Words would then spew from my mouth & I'd feel relieved that I added something, whether it was meaningful or not. Talking for the sake of talking. It was uncomfortable; sometimes painful & a complete waste of my energy!

Now, I find myself much less concerned about such small things.
Why worry about developing something to say, when you naturally have nothing to say? Why further the discomfort of an awkward silence with superfluous words? Why not take comfort in a group of people who are "natural talkers". They make it look easy because maybe IT IS easy, for them. It may be who they are.

If you're a quiet person, be quiet. It's okay. It's who you are!
It is who I am.



At May 10, 2011 at 4:04 PM , Blogger Jhan said...

Yay. Thank you for the post. I am naturally quiet unless I have something to say as well. When I was in second grade, I barely spoke above a whisper. So on game day Fridays, we would play Seven-Up, and I was the one who at the top of my lungs had to say "heads down, thumbs up". It was quite traumatizing to me then, but I think I've gotten over it. :-)

At May 10, 2011 at 6:48 PM , Anonymous Nicole said...

*sigh* nods in agreement ^_^

At May 10, 2011 at 11:50 PM , Blogger simplychic said...

i can totally relate. some ppl just talk for no reason and that's totally not me and totally drives me crazy. when ppl at my former job called me quite i wanted to tell them i just have nothing to say to you, but if you ask the 20 other ppl in the building that i like they will tell you i am NOT quiet.

also sometimes i think it may be a race thing??? people assume african americans are naturally outspoken, loud, always cracking jokes etc and they meet someone who doesn't fit that mold they just assume your quiet...

At May 11, 2011 at 4:07 AM , Blogger Stephanie said...

I am also a quiet person and I am happy this way because I prefer not saying anything instead of trying to speak for the sake of speaking. It's exhausting and not natural for me. I often see people who end up saying something inappropriate, not funnny, or just offensive because they feel obliged to fill the air with words and I just don't want to be like that.
Plus, with people I get along with I am not quiet and we can talk for hours.

At May 12, 2011 at 11:04 AM , Blogger MerelyMarie said...

Hey fellow "quiet" ladies:)
It's super cool that you understand/know where I'm coming from with this post. Like most of you have mentioned, I too have no issues talking to people I enjoy being around.
Thanks for reading!


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